Being the 1st of Feb 2010, almost 2 months since our double-deckered Airbus A380 touched down in Perth, I thought I’d touch base, and in doing so, awaken the green eyed monster on a Monday morning for all those waking up to sub zero temperatures in Blighty!
My first full day in Perth turned out to be the hottest day on record here since 1989, notching 45, or 110 odd, depending on whether you swing with the German or the Swede. The all time record for the hottest day is unanimously accepted as the 13th January 1988, when the most stunning woman on the planet was born to Karen and John Morris. (Try not to puke into your cornflakes!)
Now I’m sure you’ve all missed me a lot, none more so than my Dad who I’m certain will have missed my unrivalled contribution and dedication at work (cue the canned laughter), my mother, who has been relieved of the duties of bringing up her ADHD son for 2 months, (Cue the ahhhh’s) and of course the local Buscot Dairy greasy spoon, who have probably gone out of business. Likewise, the Khans delivery boy must think the last 10 years weekly Chicken Chilli Masala he dropped off finally put me 6 foot under! Down Under!
I have arrived in Perth in the year that marks a few milestone birthdays too. I turn the Big Three O in April and Karen the Small Five Zero in May! Chloe turned 22 last week (cue expletives in her direction). With it of course, for my part, the mid life crisis, and those of you on my Facebook may have had a double take on seeing photos of me looking like the Dalai Lama cross bred with Ghandi cum Phil Mitchell. With a hair line receding quicker than Tony Blair’s credibility at the Iraq Inquiry, and the jealousy at all the thick surfer boy Aussie Hair Styles, believe me when I say I had no choice.
For those of you wondering if I have picked up the Aussie Twang in 2 months, you will be disappointed to learn that it is veering more towards Peter Kay or Peter Barlow than Peter Andre!
It took 4 weeks for me to see my first Kangaroo, which kind of upset the vision that I’m sure most tourists perceive in that these odd looking creatures cohabit with Australians and can be found in Shopping Malls, waiting for the bus and sunbathing on the beach in boxing gloves. I have since got up close and personal with them in the Caversham Wildlife Park, where we met Koalas, Wombats and Possums.
We have now toured the Perth City area by land, sea and air! A helicopter ride Xmas present from Chloe’s folks was great fun, going up and down the coast, over the WACA, and of course the CBD Sky Scrapers. Speaking of which, maybe one of the few negative points I will make as a balance, Perth seems to have become a bit too Americanised for my liking, from the Mile long Malls, to Television & Radio and to young people’s culture and behaviour.
A wine tour in Dunsborough, 5 hours drive south (with obligatory 8 Hungry Jack’s stop-overs en-route) was great fun, and while most were feeling the effects of the day-long chuggings, Chloe’s 80 year old Nana Agnes looked like she could do the course again! I mistakenly and perhaps in a tipsy state called her ‘Angus’ over a witchety grub and kangaroo cold cuts lunch at the Knotting Hill Winery, and apologies to her, but to the amusement of myself & Chloe’s brother Jack, the name stuck, as her Xmas cards proved! (This may be one of those In-Jokes where ‘you had to be there’ to appreciate it!)
It was Australia Day last week, and we cruised up the Swan River to the CBD from Fremantle to see the SkyWorks (Fireworks) set off from barges on the river and off the sky scrapers. Really was a pretty spectacle. Sort of mildly beat the November 5 crushed 137 bus ride to Battersea to stand in the freezing cold craning ones neck and not being able to un-crane it due to freeze locking and being covered in Hot Dog remnants and dog exit material!
Sharks...a reality. All a bit scary. This aint no Thames! They are here, everywhere, and hungry! The popular nearby beaches were recently closed as a group of the buggers were doing a war dance close in, while the other week, 4 hammerheads and 3 tiger sharks were spotted 30 metres from the sunbathers in Scarborough! Due to the lovely tan I have worked on and my ever present belly, my resemblance to a seal or maybe a walrus may have my fishy friends thinking I’m a human kebab, so I have been extra vigilant! When down South, myself and Chloe slammed in powerful 6 foot constant waves in Yallingup. Truly awesome.
Now for those of you who know Chloe, you’ll know she is a bit alright, more commonly known as ‘fit’, ‘buff’, ‘bangin’ etc... So I am a very lucky boy indeed. However, she has developed an unhealthy attraction to Australian Cricketer Mitchell Johnson. She was given his calendar for Xmas, her Mum has a work link of some sort to his father, and on mentioning his name, she goes all puppy love and seems to know a bit more about him than she cares to let on! So I have teased her on a weekly basis for the past 6 months as one does as I am not a 6 foot rugged looking strapping fast bowler and insecurities get the better of me! So you can imagine my shock while we are quietly shopping in Karrinyup Mall and walk right into the bastard a day before the WACA Test against WI. The stare the two shared was alarming, as was Chloe’s initial tomato blushed face on seeing him, followed by her ghost white complexion a minute later when she realised that I was actually in the room watching the love affair in the mall develop. As long he remains Australia’s’ current ‘Best Quickie’ purely in cricket speak and not to my beautiful girlfriend, then I’m ok!! :-)
On that note and whilst I still have two balls to come in hand, and before I get sent back to the pavilion with any more poor taste cricket analogies, the experience in Perth so far has been fantastic and just what I’d imagined. I have been made to feel at home by Chloe and her family in their lovely house complete with pool and hot tub!, met her cousin Josh, (a great lad who himself has also come over for the year from Manchester), had multiple Barbie fry-ups, and have blitzed the tourist trail nicely, visiting almost every beach in the area, a great 20/20 match at the WACA, Helicopter and Boat rides, Wildlife Parks, City Bus Tours, Weddings, Engagement Parties....could go on and on.
If you haven’t seen any of my photos, I have become a photo guru and have over 400 from the trip up on Facebook if you fancy a butchers!
For now, from me and BooBoo who is perched on the end of the bed at 9am on 1/2/2010, it’s back to job hunting, opening a bank account, getting my medical forms, and cleaning the house while the Mrs has gone off for her first day of work in the City....
...........Yea right, see you at the beach in 10 : )
My first full day in Perth turned out to be the hottest day on record here since 1989, notching 45, or 110 odd, depending on whether you swing with the German or the Swede. The all time record for the hottest day is unanimously accepted as the 13th January 1988, when the most stunning woman on the planet was born to Karen and John Morris. (Try not to puke into your cornflakes!)
Now I’m sure you’ve all missed me a lot, none more so than my Dad who I’m certain will have missed my unrivalled contribution and dedication at work (cue the canned laughter), my mother, who has been relieved of the duties of bringing up her ADHD son for 2 months, (Cue the ahhhh’s) and of course the local Buscot Dairy greasy spoon, who have probably gone out of business. Likewise, the Khans delivery boy must think the last 10 years weekly Chicken Chilli Masala he dropped off finally put me 6 foot under! Down Under!
I have arrived in Perth in the year that marks a few milestone birthdays too. I turn the Big Three O in April and Karen the Small Five Zero in May! Chloe turned 22 last week (cue expletives in her direction). With it of course, for my part, the mid life crisis, and those of you on my Facebook may have had a double take on seeing photos of me looking like the Dalai Lama cross bred with Ghandi cum Phil Mitchell. With a hair line receding quicker than Tony Blair’s credibility at the Iraq Inquiry, and the jealousy at all the thick surfer boy Aussie Hair Styles, believe me when I say I had no choice.
For those of you wondering if I have picked up the Aussie Twang in 2 months, you will be disappointed to learn that it is veering more towards Peter Kay or Peter Barlow than Peter Andre!
It took 4 weeks for me to see my first Kangaroo, which kind of upset the vision that I’m sure most tourists perceive in that these odd looking creatures cohabit with Australians and can be found in Shopping Malls, waiting for the bus and sunbathing on the beach in boxing gloves. I have since got up close and personal with them in the Caversham Wildlife Park, where we met Koalas, Wombats and Possums.
We have now toured the Perth City area by land, sea and air! A helicopter ride Xmas present from Chloe’s folks was great fun, going up and down the coast, over the WACA, and of course the CBD Sky Scrapers. Speaking of which, maybe one of the few negative points I will make as a balance, Perth seems to have become a bit too Americanised for my liking, from the Mile long Malls, to Television & Radio and to young people’s culture and behaviour.
A wine tour in Dunsborough, 5 hours drive south (with obligatory 8 Hungry Jack’s stop-overs en-route) was great fun, and while most were feeling the effects of the day-long chuggings, Chloe’s 80 year old Nana Agnes looked like she could do the course again! I mistakenly and perhaps in a tipsy state called her ‘Angus’ over a witchety grub and kangaroo cold cuts lunch at the Knotting Hill Winery, and apologies to her, but to the amusement of myself & Chloe’s brother Jack, the name stuck, as her Xmas cards proved! (This may be one of those In-Jokes where ‘you had to be there’ to appreciate it!)
It was Australia Day last week, and we cruised up the Swan River to the CBD from Fremantle to see the SkyWorks (Fireworks) set off from barges on the river and off the sky scrapers. Really was a pretty spectacle. Sort of mildly beat the November 5 crushed 137 bus ride to Battersea to stand in the freezing cold craning ones neck and not being able to un-crane it due to freeze locking and being covered in Hot Dog remnants and dog exit material!
Sharks...a reality. All a bit scary. This aint no Thames! They are here, everywhere, and hungry! The popular nearby beaches were recently closed as a group of the buggers were doing a war dance close in, while the other week, 4 hammerheads and 3 tiger sharks were spotted 30 metres from the sunbathers in Scarborough! Due to the lovely tan I have worked on and my ever present belly, my resemblance to a seal or maybe a walrus may have my fishy friends thinking I’m a human kebab, so I have been extra vigilant! When down South, myself and Chloe slammed in powerful 6 foot constant waves in Yallingup. Truly awesome.
Now for those of you who know Chloe, you’ll know she is a bit alright, more commonly known as ‘fit’, ‘buff’, ‘bangin’ etc... So I am a very lucky boy indeed. However, she has developed an unhealthy attraction to Australian Cricketer Mitchell Johnson. She was given his calendar for Xmas, her Mum has a work link of some sort to his father, and on mentioning his name, she goes all puppy love and seems to know a bit more about him than she cares to let on! So I have teased her on a weekly basis for the past 6 months as one does as I am not a 6 foot rugged looking strapping fast bowler and insecurities get the better of me! So you can imagine my shock while we are quietly shopping in Karrinyup Mall and walk right into the bastard a day before the WACA Test against WI. The stare the two shared was alarming, as was Chloe’s initial tomato blushed face on seeing him, followed by her ghost white complexion a minute later when she realised that I was actually in the room watching the love affair in the mall develop. As long he remains Australia’s’ current ‘Best Quickie’ purely in cricket speak and not to my beautiful girlfriend, then I’m ok!! :-)
On that note and whilst I still have two balls to come in hand, and before I get sent back to the pavilion with any more poor taste cricket analogies, the experience in Perth so far has been fantastic and just what I’d imagined. I have been made to feel at home by Chloe and her family in their lovely house complete with pool and hot tub!, met her cousin Josh, (a great lad who himself has also come over for the year from Manchester), had multiple Barbie fry-ups, and have blitzed the tourist trail nicely, visiting almost every beach in the area, a great 20/20 match at the WACA, Helicopter and Boat rides, Wildlife Parks, City Bus Tours, Weddings, Engagement Parties....could go on and on.
If you haven’t seen any of my photos, I have become a photo guru and have over 400 from the trip up on Facebook if you fancy a butchers!
For now, from me and BooBoo who is perched on the end of the bed at 9am on 1/2/2010, it’s back to job hunting, opening a bank account, getting my medical forms, and cleaning the house while the Mrs has gone off for her first day of work in the City....
...........Yea right, see you at the beach in 10 : )
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